Superman
by Them Memories
Summary: Grunt encounters an earth tradition that horrifies then intrigues him...until it turns into more trouble than worth it. For the Aria's Afterlife Spooky October Contest.


**Hello. Here is a short read for the upcoming holiday and for the Aria's Afterlife Spooky October Contest. It's not spooky but oh well.**

**Thank you TUS for being the beta for this one.  
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><p>"Shepard, please tell me you see what I see," Grunt said with an uncharacteristic look of shock.<p>

"See what?" Shepard asked, looking around.

Grunt didn't know what to make of it. At first he thought it was a turian child but then he remembered what Garrus told him about turians not letting their children off home-world for nurturing reasons…or because they were overprotective assess.

With that in mind, he took another look to find the most horrific thing he had ever seen. It was a human child but not just any ordinary human child. The child was laughing while holding onto a parent with one hand and swinging some sort of orange container with a disturbing black smile. But that wasn't what horrified him. It was the fact that the child was wearing the skin of a turian on its body and didn't seem to care. And to make things worse, the parent was smiling down at the kid, completely oblivious to the dried up husk draped over their offspring.

Was this some sort of human ritual that he didn't know about? Skinning your enemy and covering your child with it? What was the purpose? Maybe it was a way to show your power and protectiveness all at once. Deter others from challenging you while declaring the child under your care. Now that he thought about it, it was an excellent way to display both messages. Maybe drape the skin over a female instead of a child but, yeah, he could appreciate it.

"Grunt what are am I supposed to be looking at?" Shepard asked.

"Huh? Oh, that child over there."

Shepard looked in the direction Grunt pointed. "Which one?"

"What do you mean which—" and there was another one, except this one seemed to be wearing human instead of turian, and it looked to be old and rotting. The parents must have taken the skin too soon.

"I guess both of them. The one wearing the turian and the other wearing the week old human."

Shepard looked at Grunt in confusion for a moment then realized what Grunt was referring to. "Oh, they're dressed up for Halloween. It's a human holiday, more tradition now than anything else. It's celebrated once a year."

Grunt eyed the children. "And what does this tradition entail?"

"Well if I remember correctly, it originated as a way to ward off evil spirits that may escape the depths of hell and steal you away. So you dress up as the evil spirits to confuse them and offer up foods on your doorstep in hopes of appeasing them. Now mainly the kids dress up as different characters and go door to door asking for candy from people who participate."

Grunt stared at Shepard, "So its not some ritual for protection? They just killed some random turian and used its skin to disguise their offspring to ask for food?"

"What? No!" Shepard exclaimed in shock. "It's fake. It's some costume the parents put together for the kid."

"Costume?"

"Yeah, like dress up only the kids pick a character they want to be each year. Some go all out like the two kids you see there and others go cheap and buy a random costume off the wall at the store."

"And then they go to people begging for food? Sounds like the parents can't provide for their offspring."

Shepard chuckled, "No. They ask people for treats and sweets. You know candy, like the chocolate bar I gave you that you liked so much."

Grunt perked up at that. "Chocolate?"

"Yeah."

"So you just knock on a door and they give you chocolate."

"Well no. You gotta know who is participating and who isn't . On earth you usually leave a light on outside your door or decorate your door with halloween stuff. Some people just leave a bowl out, which is stupid 'cause all the teenagers come around and empty it before the little ones can get any, and others will sit outside their door, enjoying fun and handing out candy. Some people don't even do candy and pass out little toys or sometimes coins. On the Citadel, everyone who wants to participate had to place a sticker on their door and a map went out to reduce the confusion."

"Ok, so you get a map, find the people with stickers, knock on their door, and then you get chocolate."

Shepard shook his head. "No, you have to say 'Trick or Treat' when they answer the door."

"Trick or treat?"

"Yeah. Basically you are saying give me a treat or I give you a trick, prank you. Something like egging the house or throwing toilet paper in the yard. The pranks are usually harmless but frowned upon and again teenagers usually are the ones doing them to people who don't participate or who they don't like."

"What happens if the person picks the trick?" Grunt asked.

"No one ever picks the trick. They either hand you the candy or they aren't participating."

"Ok, and what's with the orange smile?"

Shepard looked over at the kids. "Oh, its a plastic pumpkin. Pumpkin is a fruit on Earth that gets carved out and some sort of face or design put on it. I forget why it's done but it's a staple decoration. We call them Jack o' lanterns. At some point humans just started making fake ones to make it easier to carry the candy."

"Let me make sure I got this. You gotta find out who is participating, knock on their door, say 'trick or treat', and then they give you chocolate that you put in the plastic pumpkin thing."

Shepard nodded.

"Did I miss anything?"

"You have to wear a costume or no one will give you candy. And you have to be polite and say thank you when they do."

"That it?"

Shepard thought for a moment and shrugged. "Yeah, pretty much."

Grunt looked at the kids again. "Interesting."

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><p>"It's not fucking funny, Shepard," Grunt growled.<p>

Shepard laughed even harder and bent over to clutch at his gut. He was laughing so hard he couldn't stand up right or breathe normally.

When he walked into the C-Sec station he thought Grunt had gotten into a fight, or done some asinine stunt like stealing a vehicle. Shepard didn't quite believe what he was hearing from the C-Sec officer who called him in, but as the story unfolded He knew there was no way it was made up. He had trouble containing a grin as he listened to the officer, and noticed she wasn't doing well containing one either.

An explanation was given, accompanied by a few laughs from the human officers and followed up with a few promised assurances. Shepard was then escorted to the room Grunt was put in. The moment the door opened and Shepard got a good look at Grunt he burst out laughing and hadn't been able to stop.

"I said it's not funny," Grunt complained again.

Shepard tried to contain himself. It took a bit, but he was able to stop laughing long enough to breathe properly again and straighten up. His abdomen hurt and he wiped at his eye. The mirth was still there, but he kept it in to look at Grunt as seriously as the moment would let him.

"Really, Grunt?"

"Shut up," he threatened and threw the orange plastic pumpkin at Shepard.

Shepard collapsed against the wall in another fit of laughter while Grunt folded his arms and stewed in anger and embarrassment.

"Shut the fuck up, Shepard," Grunt yelled.

Shepard absently waved at Grunt as he tried to rein in his reaction but every time he looked back at Grunt he couldn't help it. The guy was wearing a red cape of all things and the T-shirt that barely fit him didn't help in the least.

When he finally gathered himself together, Shepard drew away from the wall with a corner of his mouth still pulled up in amusement.

"Ok, explain this to me slowly."

"Humph...not if you're going to laugh like that again."

"I promise I wont."

Grunt eyed him and relented. "I was trying to get chocolate the human way."

"The human way?" Shepard dead-panned.

Grunt shrugged. "Like you described. I found one of those maps you mentioned and headed to one of the marked locations. I watched a kid dressed up as an insect of some sort with wings and they did everything you said they would and they got chocolate. So I knocked on the human's door only to have the lady inside scream and slam the door in my face."

"And that's when C-Sec was called?" Shepard asked.

Grunt shook his head. "That's when I realized I needed one of those smiling pumpkin things."

Shepard nudged the dormant item in question with his foot. "I see you found one."

"It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I went to ask a group of the older kids, you know the ones you said that eat eggs and use toilet paper."

"Throw eggs and toss toilet paper, but yes."

"Well I asked a group where I could find them and one of those little punks just handed me theirs."

"So you scared the hell out of one and they just gave it to you?"

Grunt chuckled. "Guess so." He leaned forward to continue. "So I tried it again. Watched another kid, knocked on a door but this time I held up the pumpkin."

"You got the door slammed again, didn't you?"

Grunt nodded. " And that's when I realized that I needed to wear a costume like everyone else."

"And where did you get this one?" Shepard asked, eying what Grunt was wearing.

"Well since I was in the human district I found one of the clothing stores that looked like it had costumes." He pointed at Shepard. "I can't tell what is normal and what is costume for humans by the way. It all looks the same."

"It can," Shepard agreed.

"So I went in one and asked for a costume."

"C-Sec said you demanded one."

Grunt shrugged, "Whatever. It got me one. They gave me this small-ass shirt and said I was a superhero of some sort. I knew a shirt wasn't going to cut it and told them so."

"So they gave you a cape."

"Is that what this thing is? They pulled if off one of their walls and put it on me. Since you said the parents usually pull them off walls, I assume it was a costume."

Shepard sighed. "Please tell me you didn't try to knock on another door."

"I had to. If I had this get up on, I wasn't going to not get chocolate. I went to another door."

"And that's when C-Sec was called."

"No. An old man answered the door and laughed at me. I was about to knock on him next when he gave me a piece of chocolate and wished me good luck."

"You went to another door, I presume?" Shepard asked.

"And that's when C-sec was called."

"Of course...why did you do it?"

Grunt gestured at Shepard. "Because you said humans hand out free chocolate."

Shepard pinched his brow. "Yeah but to kids dressed up for Halloween."

"But I am a kid."

"What? How did you come up with that idea?"

"Tank bred. According to human standards I'm roughly a year old."

Shepard scoffed at him, "You just went through puberty not too long ago. At best you're a teenager."

"And you said teenagers ask for chocolate too."

Shepard shook his head. "I give up."

Grunt nodded and stretched, signalling the end of his interest in the conversation. The shirt he was wearing ripped at one of the seams. "Can I take this thing off now? I feel stupid."

Shepard opened the door to the room and cocked his head. "No. I think you should wear it a bit longer. Just until we get to the Normandy."

He lead the way through the station as Grunt followed. All the humans were watching them as they left, making his, and undoubtedly Grunt's, shoulders itch.

When they got outside Grunt asked, "Why the Normandy?"

Shepard didn't answer right away. "Joker and Garrus."

"Oh hell no," Grunt complained. "They don't need to see me in this."

Shepard smiled. "Oh come on, Superman. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I'll never hear the end of it."

"Well next time you'll think it through, won't you? By the way, this is the last time I'm bailing you out."

True to his name, Grunt grunted. "That's what you said last time."

"This time I mean it...Come on, maybe if you ask nicely Garrus and Joker will give you some chocolate."

"Screw you, Shepard."


End file.
